Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: You Are What You Eat

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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photo credit: timsamoff

Eat your food or else…

…you will not get your dessert
….you will not grow up strong
….you will stay hungry all day
….I will be very disappointed

Let us face it. Even though we don’t mean to, we often find ourselves using such tactics to push our kids to eat their food at mealtime. And when it doesn’t work, we try to bribe them with a reward at the end. Sometimes that works, but soon we realize that children become used to this system of reward and punishment and find a way around them. Maybe we cannot follow up on the threats, so they don’t sound credible anymore. Maybe the reward we offer is no longer enough and they want more. Whatever it is, the mealtime struggles with kids never seem to end!

It is so natural to fall in this trap that most parents – us included – don’t even realize it. We all live busy and stressful lives. We return tired from work, already feeling overwhelmed by so many things that need to be done before kids are in bed. We do not get enough sleep, we do not eat well and we do not get enough time to exercise. As a result, our patience runs thin and the last thing we want is an unhappy child throwing a fit at what we manage to put on the table. We just want to get it over with dinner as soon as possible.

No parent is mean or selfish. They simply want to do what is right for their child. They do not really mean to manipulate their children by promising a reward or issuing a threat. It just seems to happen on its own, and before you know it, you have established a pattern you cannot easily get out of. That is why it is good to be mindful of this risk when trying to encourage your kids to eat well and develop healthy eating habits.

We are a big fan of Dr Spock, who advises parents in his bestseller Dr Spock’s Baby and Child Care:

Don’t ask a child to eat to earn his dessert, a piece of candy, a gold star, or other prize. Don’t ask him to eat for Aunt Minnie, to make his mother or father happy, to grow big and strong, to keep from getting sick, or to clean his plate. Children should not be threatened with physical punishment or loss of privileges in an attempt to get them to eat.

What should a parent do if not use rewards or threats?

First, it is better to look at the process of eating from the child’s point of view. If you observe carefully, you will find that your child will eat pretty much anything you give him when he is truly hungry. And if you try to feed him when he is not hungry, then he

• Wants to play with his food rather than eat it
• Wants to have fun rather than sit quietly in one place
• Wants to do his own thing rather than follow your instructions
• Wants to test how much misbehavior you will tolerate at the table
• Wants  foods that he knows taste good (aka sugary, salty and fatty processed foods)

The problem here then, is to figure out the natural eating patterns of your child and gently encourage her to build a rhythm of eating that is consistent with the rest of the family. It is no easy task because children at this age have very unpredictable requirements for food. One day they seem to want to eat a lot, while on another day they may take only a few bites at a time. There are 3 important tools you can use to develop a pattern and sense of continuity:

• Play and physical activity
• Rest
• Timing and amount of snacks

Naturally, the first purpose of food is to provide energy to your child for daily activities and growth. The timing and level of activity combined with periods of rest determine when and how much energy is needed. There is a reason why building a regular daytime routine is an important priority at daycare. This way they can establish a pattern of play, feeding and rest so they don’t have to chase the individual needs of every child. Even if you take care of your child at home where you can attend to his every need, it is useful to build a routine.

One problem we face is that our kids are very hungry when we bring them back from daycare at the end of the day. We have no choice but to give them a snack at that time. It delays our dinner time because they are not hungry for at least 1-2 hours. We have learned that there is no use trying to get them to sit down if we happen to eat an early dinner. Key lesson – plan your dinner about 1-2 hour after your child’s last snack!

When we do want them to sit with us, we try to make the experience as much fun as possible. No bribes of threats – although at times, we do have to watch and take a step back. What seem to work for us is engaging them in a conversation by telling stories that tickle their imagination. Recently, we played the my little stomach, what would you like to eat now? game, which worked very well in getting the twins to try our favorite green beans with olive oil recipe. Eating salad like a giraffe got them eating salad greens while diesel food for a diesel engine story was a hit with my train-crazy son to get him to sit at the table with us.

By no means, I want to imply that this is easy. It takes a lot of energy and creativity on top of trying to figure out what to put on the table after a long day at work. Here are a few ideas to have a perspective keep it under control:

Don’t give in and don’t give up – if it doesn’t work one day, move on and try on another day
It’s not about you – the food is going in your child’s body, not yours. You are only responsible for offering food, not getting your child to actually eat it
Don’t be pushy, don’t be a pushover – feeding a child is not power play. Respect their feelings but also don’t let them run you over with their demands
Practice BVM – balance, variety and moderation. Food is not good or bad, it’s how it is eaten that makes it a problem. Sweet treats and yummy snacks all have a proper place in your child’s diet
Feeding kids is teamwork – don’t do it alone, engage your spouse to balance your parenting style

There is a lot of talk about food these days. We read and hear about all kinds of new food labels -natural, organic, locally-grown, minimally-processed, wholesome and so on. People are becoming more aware of what they eat, and food marketers are working hard to make food packaging scream out such labels at them. It is perfectly fine to pay attention to these labels and the what of food; but the how of feeding is equally important.

Next time you find yourself in another eat your food or else battle with your child, stop and take a different approach.

©2010 Littlestomaks.com

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Four Seasons of Eating Locally — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has pointers for what fresh produce can be found year-round. (@MBJunction)
• Happy Families Can Have More Than One Diet — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has figured out a way for her family to live happily as vegans and vegetarians with relatives who eat meat. (@DebChitwood)
• My Own Omnivore’s Dilemma — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante prioritizes responsible consumer choices for her family.
• No Gluten — No Cry — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned to cook balanced meals when her son’s food sensitivities prompted a diet overhaul. (@kitchenwitch)
• Try, Try Again — Stefanie at very very fine has become an enthusiastic consumer of locally grown food.
• CSA — Week 1 — Casey at What Love Is wants her children to know where their food comes from, so she joined a friendly CSA. (@CBerbs)
• Food: Parenting or Homemaking? — Michelle at The Parent Vortex sees food as part of a parent’s nurturing role. (@TheParentVortex)
• 5 Tips to Help Kids Develop Healthy Eating Habits — If you struggle with healthy eating, helping your child develop healthy habits might be a challenge. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips that will help your kids learn to make good food choices. (@CodeNameMama)
• Family Food: Seeking Balance Between Healthy, Sustainable & Affordable — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings has a whole list of ideas for how she can improve her family’s eating, both now and into the future. (@sunfrog)
• Whole Foods in, Wholesome Feelings Out — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has turned her back on the processed, preservative-ridden food of her childhood. (@tisworthwhile)
• When to Splurge on Organic (and When It Is Okay to Skip It) — Becoming Mamas tell you what foods to prioritize when buying pricier organic food, and where you can find it cheaper. (@becomingmamas)
• A Locavore’s Family Meal — Acacia at Be Present Mama tells a story in pictures of her family taking a trip to the local organic farmers market and then preparing a summer meal together with their bounty.
• Eat Your Food, or Else — Why should we not bribe a child to eat? TwinToddlersDad from Littlestomaks (Science Driven Real Life Toddler Nutrition) explains. (@TwinToddlersDad)
• Food, Glorious Food! — Luschka at Diary of a First Child describes three easy ways her family has started eating healthier. (@diaryfirstchild)
• Celebrating Food — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes in food as medicine and thinks it’s worth paying more to keep healthy. (@myzerowaste)
• Oil and Yogurt — What have you been motivated to do with the current oil spill crisis? midnightfeedings has started making her own yogurt. (@midnightfeeding)
• Growth-Spurt Soup (AKA “Beannut Stew”) — BeanMa has a special stew to help her baby through growth spurts that keep her up all night. (@thebeanma)

• Why I Love The Real Food Community — Much like many people who follow AP/NP values, Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! takes the parts of the “real food” philosophy that work for her family and leaves the rest. (@bfmom)
• Feeding a Family of Six — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children gives helpful tips for feeding a family of six.
• Starting Solids at 6 Months — Did your doctor recommend that you give your baby cereal? Sheryl at Little Snowflakes discusses how whole foods are so much healthier (and more delicious) than traditional cereal. (@sheryljesin)
• Am I What I Eat? — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has figured out a way to avoid grocery stores nearly altogether.
• Are We Setting Our Kids Up To Fail? — Megan at Purple Dancing Dahlias found that cutting out the junk also transformed her sons’ behavior problems.
• Changing your family’s way of eating — Lauren at Hobo Mama has techniques you can try to move your family gradually toward a healthier diet. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Real Food — What kinds of fake foods do you eat? And why?! Lisa C. at My World Edenwild talks about why she chooses real food.
• A Snackaholic’s Food Battle — Julie at Simple Life wants to stop snacking and get into the old ways of cooking from scratch and raising her own food. (@homemakerjulie)
• Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm)
• How Do You Eat When You Are out of Town? — Cassie at There’s a Pickle In My Life wants some tips on how to eat healthy when you are out of town.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Food! — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker hopes that by serving her children healthy, balanced meals, they will become accustomed to making good food choices. (@sybilryan)
• There’s No Food Like Home’s — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing revels in the Bajan food of her upbringing. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
• This Mom’s Food Journey — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment made a journey from not paying attention to food to growing her own.
• Who Knew Eating Was So Hard? — The challenges involved in changing to healthier eating habits take on a whole new dimension when you have a child who has difficulties eating. kadiera at Our Little Acorn shares her own experiences. (@kadiera)
• Loving Food — Starr at Earth Mama truly believes food is her family’s medicine and is willing to spend days preparing it the traditional way.
• Food Mindfulness — Danielle at born.in.japan details how her family spends money on each category of food. (@borninjp)
• Food for Little People — Zoey at Good Goog wants to bless her daughter with happy traditions built around good food. (@zoeyspeak)
• Eat Like a Baby — Have you been told that you should not equate food with love? Kate Wicker at Momopoly shows us why that’s not necessarily true. (@Momopoly)
• Food — Deb at Science@Home tries to teach her children three rules to help them eat a healthy diet. (@ScienceMum)
• Healthy Eating Lactose-Free — MamanADroit gives us tips on how to eat healthy if you are lactose intolerant (or just don’t want cow milk). (@MamanADroit)

News about childhood obesity is everywhere these days. Hardly a day goes by without a screaming headline in the media about this issue. Jamie Oliver has further popularized it by his TV show and even Mrs Obama has taken up this cause via her Let’s Move campaign. There is no doubt that we must address childhood obesity, but what about the problem of underweight and short stature? How worried should a parent be if their toddler falls under the 5th percentile in weight and height?

Recently, registered dietitian Teresa Wagner tackled a reader question in our Ask the Expert column about a toddler not gaining weight. I received a follow up email from another reader who was worried that her 8 month old child was below the 5th percentile and not eating much. The tone of her message reflected her extreme worry and frustration at not knowing what to do.

There is a reason why our media does not focus on this problem. The numbers, when taken as a whole nationwide are not that high. See below a chart based on the 2008 data CDC’s Pediatric Nutrition Surveillance System (PedNSS) on growth indicators. The PedNSS system is a public health surveillance system which monitors the nutritional status of children from low income families under Federal programs. Data comes from public health clinics where these children are seen for routine care, nutrition education and supplemental food.

Percentage of children 2-5 years old who are underweight or of short stature is between 3-5% for Whites, Blacks and Hispanics. These numbers are even smaller for American Indians and Alaskan Natives. Compared to the 20-30% obesity rates, these numbers are too low to capture the attention of mainstream media and policy makers. Besides, the media loves to show extreme images of either very fat kids or severely malnourished starving kids from the third world countries. Anything else does not make the cut for prime time!

As a parent, it is natural to worry. It becomes a personal issue and fancy nationwide statistics do not make a difference. The frustrating part is that it is not always possible to get enough credible information to make informed decisions. The result is that each day becomes a battle to force feed a child in the hope that she will put on some weight. Since children have a natural ability to regulate their food intake based on their current needs, it may seem like they are not eating enough. Anger, frustration and despair are the emotions most parents feel under these circumstances.

Here are 5 questions you can consider to assess the situation and take appropriate actions

Is there a trend in my child’s growth chart numbers?

A single data point on the growth chart, although important, should not cause concern. Take time to understand growth charts and their limitations so you can use them to evaluate the general growth pattern of your child. Another thing to keep in mind is that your child may not be in the normal range for both weight and height. For example, our twins are tall for their age group but lag behind in weight. From this perspective, I like the BMI for age chart because it takes into account both weight and height at the same time. You can use this online calculator for BMI chart or ask your doctor about it.

Is there a medical reason for slow growth?

This is where keeping a close eye on your child’s growth pattern will help you find medical issues that may be affecting her growth. There may be known birth defects or undiagnosed metabolic or digestive disorders. Severe case of reflux like GERD is also a concern. Detecting them early and working with a specialist for corrective action is very important.

Is there a specific reason for poor appetite?

Nearly all toddlers are picky eaters and it is natural for them to frequently show poor appetite. But if it persists over a long period of time, you will need to be extra vigilant so you can find the root cause. Are there food allergies? Special environmental or seasonal triggers? Does a change in menu or feeding schedule help? The important thing is to pay attention to the unique needs of your child so each feeding is most effective. Siblings around the same age, twins or multiples need different treatments based on their individual personalities. Clearly a challenge for most parents, but there is no perfect answer. Practicing the principles of attachment parenting and nutrition can help.

Does my child seem different than his siblings or other family members?

Although it is not always a good idea to compare your children, you have to take into account your family history and genetic makeup. In some ways, a consideration of these factors is probably more important than the growth charts which are based on population averages. If your family ethnicity is not one of mainstream population, it is unlikely that the growth chart standards will be accurate for your child. Evaluate your child’s height, weight and BMI through the lens of your family’s history to determine if there are differences you should be concerned about.

Are there any special circumstances in my family?

Every family goes through ups and downs – financial, emotional or health-related – often over an extended period of time. Assess if you have certain stresses in your personal life or your family situation at the moment. Even toddlers pick on them easily even if they cannot articulate it. If these problems persists over a long period, there may be slow weight gain or even a loss in weight. Recognize these problems early and seek help from family, friends or your doctor to manage them.

One last thing to remember – early childhood height and weight is often a poor predictor of adult height and weight, except in the case of overweight or obesity. You may be surprised how fast your child can grow upon reaching puberty. Keep a close eye on the growth charts, spot the problems early and take appropriate action. No need for excessive worry just because of a couple of low points on the charts!

Most importantly, focus on building healthy eating habits. Offer a variety of foods in healthy balance and moderation.

Are you concerned about an underweight child? Please share your personal story in a comment below.

©2010 Littlestomaks.com

It has been an excellent year blogging about toddler nutrition! When I started writing back in the Fall of 2008, I did not realize how exciting it could be to learn and write about all aspects of a young child’s nutrition and growth. Blogging has also given me an opportunity to connect with both experts and moms in a unique way!

As we close on 2009, I would like to reflect upon the more than 220 posts I have published on this blog. Whether you are a brand new visitor, or a regular reader of this blog, I invite you to check out these top 10 posts of 2009 in terms of page views and comments.

Enjoy and let me know what is on your mind!

	Attachment Parenting and Toddler Nutrition This post by Annie of PhD In Parenting explains what it means to feed your child with love and respect. It is one of the 8 guiding principles of Attachment Parenting.
	All Natural Toddler Multivitamin My review of Floradix Kinder Love Children’s Multivitamin Liquid Extract Formula attracted a lot of attention because it is based on herbal extracts and fruit juices. It claims to be easy on the child’s digestive system while providing vitamins A, B, C, D and E. It is not a good source of minerals.
	Simple Recipes – Chicken with Quinoa This is a very easy recipe to make! Quinoa, in my opinion, is the unrecognized superfood because it is a good source of protein and low glycemic index carbs. It also provides a good mix of vitamins and minerals.
	Ask the Expert – Sushi and Toddlers If you are a sushi lover and you are thinking about introducing your toddler to sushi, you have got to read this informative piece from registered dietitian Janet Helm. She writes a great blog at Nutrition Unplugged with tons of excellent information about nutrition and food trends.
	Looking for a Multivitamin Supplement? This is a “mini” guide to toddler vitamin supplements on the market. If you are considering a supplement for your child, you can use a simple comparison chart in this post. Centrum Kids and Flintstones Complete offer a good balance of complete vitamins and minerals. But the most important advice is to rely on a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables.
	5 Reasons to Consider a Multivitamin Supplement I heard a variety of opinions from Moms who took my Global Toddler survey about use of multivitamins. In this post, I highlight 5 main reasons why you might consider it for your child. Vitamins should not be used to “fix” nutrition and eating issues; rather you should rely on them to supplement a balanced diet.
	Basmati Rice: It is Very Easy to Cook and You Will Love It’s Flavor and Fragrance We love basmati rice! It is an excellent source of low glycemic index carbohydrates. Try my simple recipe to cook it as a separate side dish. You can also try some of the links in this post for other great recipes.
	Help! My Kids Don’t Eat Enough Fruits and Veggies! This is a very common concern of most toddler parents. In this article, pediatrician Dr Ayala Laufer-Cahana offers a few practical tips to get your kids interested in fruits and veggies. Check out her blog at Ayala’s Herbal Water.
	Traffic Light and Food Labeling Clearly, consumers want simple and easy to understand front of the box food labels. FDA is worried about accuracy and manipulation by the food industry. A traffic light based food labeling system is gaining popularity in UK and Australia. It is not perfect, but clearly a step in the right direction.
	Think Play-Nutrition-Rest for Long Term Health of Your Children Play is an important part of your child’s physical, mental and emotional growth. Combine it with good nutrition and enough rest for long term health of your toddler.

Web statistics are surely important, but there are a lot of other articles which I am particularly very passionate about. Here are a few of my favorites. I hope you will check them out and leave me a comment with your opinion!

1. Twinkie tax will do nothing to reduce the sweetness
2. Shaking off a sweet addiction
3. Why we must address childhood obesity NOW
4. Good nutrition key to managing food allergy
5. Healthy fats for children

©2009 Littlestomaks.com

This post is part of the Attachment Parenting Month 2009 blog carnival, hosted by Attachment Parenting International. Learn more about how you can stay “Attached at the Heart Through the Years” by visiting API Speaks, the blog of Attachment Parenting International.

This also happens to be my 200th post on Littlestomaks. So I am doubly excited!!

I don’t characterize myself as an AP parent, but I do subscribe to their 8 principles of parenting. I read the API Speaks blog regularly. It is fun to read the experiences of Moms so passionate about the principles of attachment parenting. Not usual to find Dads writing or commenting on this blog, so I feel a little strange writing a post for the AP month 2009 blog carnival. Yet, just like my wife, the bond I feel with my twins is incredibly strong and it begins with the heart. Never before in my life, have I felt the kind of emotions I feel when I look into their eyes, enjoy their abundant smiles, feel the frustration of their tantrums. Incredible it may sound – or maybe not – this Dad is attached!

You see, Dad’s are funny creatures. Straddling the wide gulf of expectations of being tough on one side and being gentle and nurturing on the other, they try their best not to let their children and their spouse down. The heart doesn’t show itself too often in their actions, but it does beat the same way as a Mom’s and does melt at the sight of their children.

Anyway, I digress.

The theme of the AP month this year is to celebrate our growth as parents as we face the challenges of transitions in our children’s growth. Talking of transitions – our twins turned 3 this year, so we have gone through a lot in a very short period of time. So, I love this opportunity to share with you our experience and a few lessons we have learned along the way.

My son loves to go around the block with me on his tricycle. It was easy in the beginning – he would stay on the sidewalk and ride along the short circular loop around our house. Over the last few months he has grown more adventurous and curious about every small thing along the way. It is fun to watch him get off his tricycle to carefully examine the line of ants crossing the sidewalk. “Fireants! It will bite me” he shouts, remembering the time when a couple of them climbed through his sandals and bit him on the foot. He loves to climb on top of the cable boxes pretending to be on a train. Another favorite is stopping by the electrical utility boxes and trying hard to take a peek inside to see if the “electric monster” is awake! The warning label on the box shows a big electric arc in the shape of a monster hitting a child and throwing him to the ground. He knows to stay away and not climb on top of this one. “The monster will hit me and make me fall” is what he repeats to himself – not out of fear or panic, but in an attempt to register the dangers of electricity shown on the label. He is equally fascinated by the “shuttles” (airplanes) in the sky and dog poop (yikes!) on the ground! He imagines the monsters inside the wooded areas next to the sidewalk which he calls a jungle, and tries to get closer to the trees inch by inch each day.

Quite clearly, our walks around the block are not linear anymore. They are full of adventure, curiosity and story-telling. They are a stop-and-go most of the time unlike the slow, continuous riding of his early months. Sometimes he barely moves, and sometimes he pedals so fast I have to run along to stay by his side.

Although challenging, these walks have given me a chance to reflect upon a few simple parenting lessons:

Safety first – he loves to push the boundaries each day, but when it comes to safety, there is no compromise. My voice gets sharp and the tone high pitched as I command him to get back on the sidewalk when he tries to get on the road. Sometimes, I have to physically move him back on the sidewalk even if he kicks and screams. Staying calm, firm and decisive is key. Slowly he is learning that watching out for incoming cars is important, and so is getting away from the dogs even though their owners keep them on a leash!

Talk is cheap – which is why we do a lot of it on our walks! We talk constantly – he makes a statement, which I repeat in the same tone; he asks a question, which I answer not necessarily in a logical way; I ask a question which he answers definitely not in a logical way. If I were to record our conversation, it would seem at the edge of reason and bordering nonsense! He is crazy about trains, so everything boils down to engines, freight cars, signals, bridges and railroad crossings. I have been trying to talk him into writing a letter to Santa this year asking for a bag of a hundred train toys!

Be present – is probably the most important lesson. There is nothing between the two of us on these walks. No thoughts of work, meetings, deadlines; no thoughts of hanging out with friends to watch football while enjoying a beer; not even thinking about the topic of the next blog post. I do not carry my Blackberry with me; for an hour or so, there is nothing between the two of us.

Nothing is too small or ordinary – ants, dead bugs, mailboxes, cable boxes, sheriff’s parked car, sprinklers, speed bumps in the road, sound of traffic in the distance, dog poop along the road, planes in the sky and jet-skis parked in an open garage! Everything is extraordinary in my son’s imagination and he pauses for a moment to soak in the experience of everything big or small. All the senses are at their peak; being present in that moment is almost like meditation. I am learning to see the world from a child’s eye where everything is extraordinary!

Leash of love – is what keeps it all together. I know it makes you think of walking a dog, but I like to think of it as flying a kite. The line needs to have the right tension depending on the winds and how high you want it to fly. Too much tension and it will break and fly away; too little and it will sink to the ground. Love lets you get to the right tension in this invisible line. It comes by trial and error, but you will know.

Enjoy the joys of parenthood. Feel free to share your thoughts in your comments below.

©2009 Littlestomaks.com

It has been a while since I highlighted some of the great comments I have received from all of you. Since this week we are on vacation, I thought of posting a few insightful reader comments instead of my usual Five for Fridays.

I am constantly inspired by your comments and I learn a lot from them. I want to say thanks to those who spend time reading my posts – some on a very regular basis – and leave a comment behind with some advice, helpful tips or a question for further research. Some of them have their own blogs, which I highly recommend you to visit whenever you get a chance.

Enjoy, and feel free to leave a comment of your own.

1. jessyz reaffirmed her belief in breastfeeding in response to Annie’s guest post Attachment Parenting and Toddler Nutrition:

I loved this post, I am planning to breastfeed until my daughter is 2 years and then decide if she is ready for weaning. My sister in law nags me all the time that my daughter is not eating enough but I’ve been watching my daughter and she’s almost one now and is growing steadily and happily. I offer lots of food choices but she’s still more dependent on breast milk. My mother is a nutritionist and always points out that if you don’t worry too much about the quantity of food but about the quality of food offered to toddlers you could be helping them combat life long diseases like diabetes and obesity.

2. In response to Study Suggests Kids Who Get Vitamins Don’tNeed Them, Kayris had this to say:

My kids get a chewable vitamin when I remember to give it to them. A whole one for the 4 1/2 year old and a half tablet for the 2 year old. Our previous pediatrician was very adamant about vitamin use and insisted that if I didn’t give my infant Vitamin D drops, he would get rickets. Strangely, my doctor routinely tests *my* Vitamin D level, and she says I am one of few patients with a normal result. I assume it’s because we eat so many eggs and get morning sun.

We changed pede’s, for a sort of complicated reason, and the new doctor doesn’t seem to care either way. He asked me if I give a vitamin, and when I said, “When I remember,” he just shrugged and went on.

Both my kids eat pretty well and healthfully, but my older child is a little pickier and there are foods neither one eats well. Vitamin C foods, for example, because while both devour their veggies, they don’t really eat a lot of fruit. So I figure a vitamin a couple times per week is extra insurance against anything that might be missing in their diets.

3. Samantha made a very insightful suggestion for Moms struggling to continue breastfeeding upon returning to work when I commented on a survey in Five for Fridays:

I have to comment on the pumping and returning to work. I nursed my daughter for 10 months, which also included pumping at work. (She self weaned, early probably due to her heavy use of the bottle from expressed milk. She got impatient when it came to eating straight from the breast.) I work for fairly large non-profit organization, and while it has been difficult to manage, I have found support. They do not have a set private space for me to pump, but between the executive director and the billing specialist, both have allowed me to use their offices when available. The executive director is even a single man. I think if you can relay how important continuing breastfeeding is, sometimes you can make an impact in the perception of pumping.

I now have my second child and am only working part time with him, and even still my place of employment allows me to clock out and pump as often as necessary, and even lets me schedule appointments around my pumping sessions. I think their flexibility has taken the stress out of pumping, and because I am able to relax about it, the process goes much more quickly and takes less time away from being productive.

I would encourage anyone struggling with pumping to schedule a time to sit down with their supervisor and explain the importance of breastfeeding, and what their needs are in terms of a private space. You’d be suprised how willing people are to work with you. I think sometimes we are just afraid to talk about it, which leads to embaressment, stress, drop in milk production, and early weaning. Thanks for giving us a place to share!

4. Vitamin D deficiency is a popular topic these days. When I commented on this in a Five for Fridays, Dr. Ayala of Herbal Water provided an interesting perspective:

You’re brave to tackle the vitamin D issue. I am both intrigued and confused by the proliferation of studies finding low vitamin D in practically every disease process, from cancer to heart disease to obesity.

The questions are:

• Is the low vitamin D a part of the cause of the disease, or a manifestation of an unhealthy state, i.e. just a marker of disease. It would be similar to blaming a fever for the inflammation of the ear or lungs during an infectious disease. Vitamin D metabolism is complicated, therefore low vitamin D can be a result of both unhealthy lifestyle (engaging in less physical activity, which could be related to less sun exposure and eating an unhealthy diet), but also a sign that some of the many body systems (skin, kidney, liver) that participate in vitamin D production aren’t functioning well.
• Can supplementation with vitamin D improve those conditions associated with low vitamin D? This question needs to be addressed in a large randomized clinical trial of vitamin D supplementation. Other vitamins were thought to be protective against disease and trails proved that not to be the case.

At this point, all we know is that low vitamin D has been correlated with many states of disease. We don’t know it’s a cause. We don’t know if supplementation will lead to a better outcome.

That’s for sure Vitamin D is a hot topic!

5. Susan Gardner shared her dilemma about her daughter’s food choices in response to my post Lunch in School Cafeteria:

This is very interesting to read. My daughter entered kindergarten this year and we allow her to buy her lunch one day a week. She always picks Friday – pizza day! I do know that the school offers vegetables and fruit, but I do not think she eats them and instead opts to buy a cookie or chips (she rarely gets these things in the meals we serve). It is interesting to see what goes on as kids get older and have the opportunity to make their own food choices. I hope that the cashier at my daughter’s school is as helpful as the one you observed.

Photo source: tirong on Flickr via everystockphoto
©2009 Littlestomaks.com

This post is a guest post by Kayris, a mom to two in Maryland. She writes about raising kids in the big city at The Great Walls of Baltimore. A proud AP mom, she especially uses the principles of Attachment Parenting in the kitchen.

Attachment Parenting is a style of parenting that focuses on creating strong and healthy emotional bonds between child and parent. AP parents believe that using love and respect to guide parenting decisions–from nutrition to discipline to how you teach your child to sleep–forges a strong and secure bond that lasts beyond childhood into adulthood. For more on the eight principles of Attachment Parenting, please visit Attachment Parenting International.

Among the many milestones a baby will reach in his first year, beginning the transition from breast milk or formula to solid food is one of the most fun. What parent doesn’t have a video of a young child sucking in spaghetti one noodle at a time, or a photo of a child wearing (rather than eating) the first birthday cake?

In the wake of the recent childhood obesity epidemic, it’s my opinion that introducing solids to your baby is one of the most important milestones as well. Starting in babyhood, you can stress the importance of respecting your body by practicing good nutrition, and by modeling healthy eating habits, you give your child tools to make healthy food choices as an older child and adult.

Think about all the people in your life and there is bound to be at least one, facing diabetes or another medical crisis, struggling to change a lifetime of bad food habits. It might seem difficult to imagine your baby as an adult, but the attitude you impart to your child NOW will last a lifetime.

As a mom to two, I’ve spent plenty of time wondering if my babies were eating enough, often enough, or a wide enough variety of foods. By making good nutrition and a healthy lifestyle a priority for our family, I now have two children that I consider to be good eaters. Each has their challenges, but here are some of the points that have worked for our AP family.

• Introduce Solids When Your Baby Is Ready–Most doctors will say this happens between four and six months, but let your child lead the way. Don’t let others pressure you into starting solids before your child is ready. My son, now 5 years old, let us know he was ready at 4 months when he would reach for food on our plates. My daughter, now 2, was closer to six months.. She showed no interest before then and it wasn’t until her sleep patterns changed that she was ready.
• Go Slow, And Keep Food Allergies In Mind–If your family has a history of food allergies, ask your pediatrician for specific instructions on when and how to introduce solids. Otherwise, try one new food at a time and wait several days in between new foods so you can be sure there isn’t a problem.
• Make Breast Or Bottle Number One–For the first year, breast milk or formula should supply most of your baby’s calories. Solids are extra. If you are breastfeeding, keep an eye on your supply, as introducing solids can decrease your supply. Read more about maintaining and increasing your supply at Kellymom.com. Personally, I always ended each solid feeding meal with my two children with a short five minute pumping session to keep my milk supply up.
• Never Force A Child To Eat–A baby that is not hungry won’t eat. Try to avoid forcing food on your child, and let his or her natural ability to gauge hunger and satiety develop. This is key to raising an older child that knows when to stop eating! If your baby isn’t interested, put away the food and try again later.
• Have Reasonable Expectations–Some children are better eaters than others. Food preferences are also partially genetic, so don’t be surprised if your baby strongly dislikes something. While some kids need to be offered a food ten times or more before they will accept it, some foods may never be accepted! Think about your own food preferences and you’ll likely find some strong favorites and some strong un-favorites. Neither of my children will eat carrots in any form, no matter how I prepare them; I’ve had to conclude that, for now, it’s a food they don’t like. In addition, pickiness is a natural stage that many children go through. Likes and dislikes will change over the years. Don’t be surprised if your baby happily accepts every food you give him, only to refuse to eat them as a strong willed toddler.
• Respect Your Child’s Individuality–This is especially important if your baby is your second child. Don’t expect or pressure your baby to do things like their older sibling did, or like the child next door. Each child develops at their own pace and in their own way. That goes for eating habits as well.
• Eat As A Family–Get your child used to sitting down with the family to eat at an early age. A study at Columbia University showed that teens who eat dinner with their families six to seven times a week are almost 50 percent more likely to remain substance-free than teens who eat dinner with their families twice a week or less. Teens who eat dinner often with their families are more likely to have better grades, lower stress levels and healthier diets. Family dinners three or more nights per week reduce a child’s likelihood to engage in risky behavior. Start your baby eating with the family now, so it’s an ingrained habit when they are older. In addition, eating as a family is a great way to bond with your children.
• Model Healthy Habits–Long before your baby becomes aware of advertising and is susceptible to tricky marketing aimed at kids, the person with the most influence is YOU. Make sure when your baby sees you eat, it’s wholesome and healthy food. If your diet could use some improvement, this is a great time to do it.

Finally, always remember the AP principle to feed with love and respect.  The healthiest food in the world doesn’t mean as much if the bond between parent and child isn’t there.

Find more information on Attachment Parenting and toddler nutrition here.

Photo source: marekf on Flickr
©2009 Littlestomaks.com

Recently, I published a post highlighting some of the great comments I have received from all of you. I got very good feedback so I decided to compile a few more interesting comments from the archives.

I am constantly inspired by your comments and I learn a lot from them. I want to say thanks to those who spend time reading my posts – some on a very regular basis – and leave a comment behind with some advice, helpful tips or a question for further research. Some of them have their own blogs, which I highly recommend you to visit whenever you get a chance.

Enjoy, and feel free to leave a comment of your own.

1. In response to my post 5 things you need to know about growth charts, Jenna of Kidappeal wrote:

Thanks for the research on growth charts. my pedi has never mentioned BMI for my kids at visits. perhaps that’s because it’s not a concern?? I do recall the nurse said the pedi likes weight % to be less than height %. it is good that you point out parents should look at data over time, my boys were not at the same percentiles at birth, 2y and for my oldest 4y. if you have any concerns at all about your child being overweight, the best thing to do is let them eat as much fruit, veggies, whole grains, legumes and lean protein as they want, but limit juice, other calorie drinks besides low fat milk (after age 2), refined grains and convenience/packaged food.

2. When Kathy asked for advice on the Global Toddlers survey about how to “move on” from the milk bottle for her 2 yo son, TwinToddlersMom replied

Kathy,
We had similar problem with twins not giving up their bottle especially at night before they sleep. They were 22 months old and our pediatrician told us to go ” cold turkey ” about it. At that age, doctor believed that it is not good for teeth, even causes speech problems because of sucking habit. They were also asking more milk at the middle of the night. We did not have much sleep. Anyways, We had to do in 1 night, I first bought Elmo sippy cups and I asked them to throw their regular bottles in the trash can. They were both so excited about trying Elmo sippy cups they put their bottles to the garbage right away. First morning was Ok with Elmo sippy cups but then the night was very difficult, they cried about 20 min about asking bottles back. But bottles were gone
( well, not really, mommy kept them in storage, it is harder for mom than anyone else to accept that they are not babies anymore!) But we did not give in.

After 3-4 night crying before sleep, they realized that bottles are not coming back. But they rejected milk afterwards, doctor told me it could happen but I could substitute with yogurt and cheese instead of milk. I think it was almost 1 or 2 months , I tried a few alternatives, because whenever I gave milk in sippy cups they said NO. Finally I found about liquid yogurts, I mixed them with milk (50:50), they like the shape of bottles and start drinking those with straws. Slowly, they were back to regular milk again. I did not give any chocolate milk but I tried the strawberry one. I tried to avoid the ones with a lot of sugar. Anyways, since summer, they are now 2.5, we do not use sippy cups anymore, they love colorful regular plastic cups that we bought from IKEA and they drink at least 1-2 cups of milk every day and some times we give orange juice with Ca and Vitamin D added (Tropicana Healthy Kids).

3. When Dr. Ayala of Herbal Water offered useful tips in Help! My Kids Don’t Eat Enough Fruits and Vegetables, Nile shared her experience:

I guess I had a good example when I was brought up, but for some reason my son did not pick up the same habit as both his father (my ex husband) and I bought a lot of fresh produce, even things from South and Latin America. However, we supplemented it with vitamins. Luis and I have been consistent despite no longer being married as we agree on a lot of things for Angel’s upbringing. We now ask him to at least try a bite of new foods before deciding to rule them out. So far that has been a success and he even asks for things like corn and apples.

So, I guess I can say that your suggestions are a must do.

4. Natalie of A Little of This, A Little of That shared her son’s favorite vitamin in response to my post 5 Reasons to Consider a Multivitamin Supplement:

I have been giving my son a “gummy” vitamin for the past year and a half. He LOVES them. But he also loves fruit and vegetables. I have noticed a marked improvement in his health since starting the vitamins however. Other than well child check ups he has not had to visit a Dr in about a years time. We used to be there at least every other month or so for a cold or infection of some kind. He uses a chewable gummy vitamin, I am really not sure what brand, but it is Transformers shapes. the shape is VERY important to him.

5. Half Pint Pixie shared this in response to Annie’s guest post Attachment Parenting and Toddler Nutrition:

Thanks for this! We are very slowly starting to wean, my daughter is 2 years & 3 months now, up until now I have been very confident knowing she is getting lots of goodness from nursing, but I find now that it is so easy to get caught up in the “what are they eating” hysteria which seems to get worse the more online (non-AP) info you read!

I found Carlos Gonzales’ book to be so reassuring and yes, I agree with watch your child, not the plate. I just have to stop eating her leftovers now

Photo source: regalzam0ra on Flickr
©2009 Littlestomaks.com

This is a guest post by Annie, Mom of 2, and blogger who writes about the art and science of parenting at the PhD in Parenting blog.

When TwinToddlersDad asked me to write a guest post about attachment parenting and toddler nutrition, I wasn’t sure where to start. There are so many things I could write about. Rather than try to tackle them all, I’m going to give a brief overview of attachment parenting perspective on nutrition and then touch on one key issue in more detail.

Feeding with Love and Respect

Attachment Parenting International (API) has eight principles for attachment parenting. One of them is “Feed with Love and Respect”. At a basic level, this means that:

Feeding a child involves more than providing nutrients; it is an act of love. Whether providing for the very intense hunger needs of a newborn, or serving meals at the family dinner table, parents can use feeding time as an opportunity to strengthen their bonds with their children.

API’s information on feeding with love and respect touches on a number of issues, including:

• Breastfeeding and attachment
• “Bottle Nursing”
• Nurturing through feeding
• Introducing solids
• Nurturing a taste for nutritious food
• Gentle weaning

Dr. Sears, who coined the term “attachment parenting” has said that parents should not feel responsible for their toddlers’ every meal. They do not need to worry about what their children eat or how much they eat. He says that the parents’ job is to buy the right food, prepare it nutritionally, and serve it creatively. The rest is up to the child.

Extended breastfeeding and toddler nutrition

In attachment parenting circles, a lot of babies are breastfed into the toddler years and sometimes beyond. In fact, breastfeeding until the age of 3, 4 or beyond is more common than people think. Breastmilk continues to provide many nutritional and other benefits to nursing toddlers. The problem is that most nutritional guidelines for toddlers are written with an assumption that the child is weaned completely from the breast and formula by 12 months. However, nursing toddlers still get a lot of their nutritional requirements met by breastmilk.

According to FitKids (published by the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada), children between 1 and 3 years old require between 1000 and 1200 calories per day on average. Kellymom.com’s information on the average breastmilk intake for toddlers demonstrates that a good portion of those needs can be met with breastmilk:

Several studies have measured breastmilk intake for babies between 12 and 24 months and found typical amounts to be 14-19 oz per day (400-550 mL per day). Studies looking at breastmilk intake between 24 and 36 months have found typical amounts to be 10-12 oz per day (300-360 mL per day).

Since 1oz of breastmilk is equal to about 22 calories, on average 33% of a nursing 12 month to 24 month old’s nutritional requirements are coming from breastmilk and 22% of a 24 to 36 month old’s nutritional requirements are coming from breastmilk. As such, parents that do chose to nurse their children into toddlerhood don’t need to worry if their child is not eating as much food as other children their age.

Weaning, whether child-led or mother-led should be a gradual process, with solid food slowly replacing breastmilk as the main source of nutrition. According to kellymom.com’s excellent information on nutrition for nursing toddlers:

It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer. An example of a nice gradual increase in solids would be 25% solids at 12 months, 50% solids at 18 months, and 80% solids at 24 months.

Watch your toddler, not the plate. If your toddler is growing well and is in good spirits, don’t worry if he isn’t eating very much as he may still be getting most of what he needs from nursing.

Book recommendations

I hope this post has given you a taste of the attachment parenting approach to toddler nutrition. If you want to read more, if you are concerned that your child isn’t eating enough, or are looking for ideas to make mealtime more fun, then check out these books:

• The Baby Book (by William Sears M.D. and Martha Sears R.N.): Dr. Sears’ Baby Book is an excellent general information book for parenting in the first two years, containing parenting advice, developmental information, and medical information. It has a chapter specifically on “Feeding the Toddler” that has lots of suggestions for getting your toddler to eat and figuring out if your child is eating enough. It also touches on food allergies, choosing the right milk for your toddler, and avoiding pesticides.

• My Child Won’t Eat! (by Carols Gonzalez, M.D.):  Why  you shouldn’t worry too much about what your child is eating or what the growth charts say. This book looks at how eating problems start and how they can be avoided. It also includes many stories from mothers that have tried to get their children to eat and emphasizes Dr. Sears’ assertion that a parent’s only involvement should be providing healthful food choices (not forcing the child to eat).

• Mothering Your Nursing Toddler (by Norma Jane Bumgarner): This book provides great information about the normal course of breastfeeding a toddler, helping moms and dads know what to expect.

• Whining & Dining (by Emma Waverman & Eshun Mott): This is my preferred cook book for little eaters. It includes meals and snacks that the whole family will love and that are nutritious too.

How have you incorporated “feeding with love” into your relationship with your toddler? How do you ensure adequate nutrition while also respecting the fact that it is your child’s body?