There are days when feeding twins can be a difficult challenge.  Then there are days when there is twice the laughter at the table!

We haven’t quite figured it all out, but we have indeed picked up a few tricks along the way.

Recently, I had a chance to share our experience and a few tips in a guest article for InspiredRD, a fabulous blog by registered dietitian Alysa Bajenaru.

Check it out here and share your comments.

©2011 Littlestomaks.com

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: You Are What You Eat

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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photo credit: timsamoff

Eat your food or else…

…you will not get your dessert
….you will not grow up strong
….you will stay hungry all day
….I will be very disappointed

Let us face it. Even though we don’t mean to, we often find ourselves using such tactics to push our kids to eat their food at mealtime. And when it doesn’t work, we try to bribe them with a reward at the end. Sometimes that works, but soon we realize that children become used to this system of reward and punishment and find a way around them. Maybe we cannot follow up on the threats, so they don’t sound credible anymore. Maybe the reward we offer is no longer enough and they want more. Whatever it is, the mealtime struggles with kids never seem to end!

It is so natural to fall in this trap that most parents – us included – don’t even realize it. We all live busy and stressful lives. We return tired from work, already feeling overwhelmed by so many things that need to be done before kids are in bed. We do not get enough sleep, we do not eat well and we do not get enough time to exercise. As a result, our patience runs thin and the last thing we want is an unhappy child throwing a fit at what we manage to put on the table. We just want to get it over with dinner as soon as possible.

No parent is mean or selfish. They simply want to do what is right for their child. They do not really mean to manipulate their children by promising a reward or issuing a threat. It just seems to happen on its own, and before you know it, you have established a pattern you cannot easily get out of. That is why it is good to be mindful of this risk when trying to encourage your kids to eat well and develop healthy eating habits.

We are a big fan of Dr Spock, who advises parents in his bestseller Dr Spock’s Baby and Child Care:

Don’t ask a child to eat to earn his dessert, a piece of candy, a gold star, or other prize. Don’t ask him to eat for Aunt Minnie, to make his mother or father happy, to grow big and strong, to keep from getting sick, or to clean his plate. Children should not be threatened with physical punishment or loss of privileges in an attempt to get them to eat.

What should a parent do if not use rewards or threats?

First, it is better to look at the process of eating from the child’s point of view. If you observe carefully, you will find that your child will eat pretty much anything you give him when he is truly hungry. And if you try to feed him when he is not hungry, then he

• Wants to play with his food rather than eat it
• Wants to have fun rather than sit quietly in one place
• Wants to do his own thing rather than follow your instructions
• Wants to test how much misbehavior you will tolerate at the table
• Wants  foods that he knows taste good (aka sugary, salty and fatty processed foods)

The problem here then, is to figure out the natural eating patterns of your child and gently encourage her to build a rhythm of eating that is consistent with the rest of the family. It is no easy task because children at this age have very unpredictable requirements for food. One day they seem to want to eat a lot, while on another day they may take only a few bites at a time. There are 3 important tools you can use to develop a pattern and sense of continuity:

• Play and physical activity
• Rest
• Timing and amount of snacks

Naturally, the first purpose of food is to provide energy to your child for daily activities and growth. The timing and level of activity combined with periods of rest determine when and how much energy is needed. There is a reason why building a regular daytime routine is an important priority at daycare. This way they can establish a pattern of play, feeding and rest so they don’t have to chase the individual needs of every child. Even if you take care of your child at home where you can attend to his every need, it is useful to build a routine.

One problem we face is that our kids are very hungry when we bring them back from daycare at the end of the day. We have no choice but to give them a snack at that time. It delays our dinner time because they are not hungry for at least 1-2 hours. We have learned that there is no use trying to get them to sit down if we happen to eat an early dinner. Key lesson – plan your dinner about 1-2 hour after your child’s last snack!

When we do want them to sit with us, we try to make the experience as much fun as possible. No bribes of threats – although at times, we do have to watch and take a step back. What seem to work for us is engaging them in a conversation by telling stories that tickle their imagination. Recently, we played the my little stomach, what would you like to eat now? game, which worked very well in getting the twins to try our favorite green beans with olive oil recipe. Eating salad like a giraffe got them eating salad greens while diesel food for a diesel engine story was a hit with my train-crazy son to get him to sit at the table with us.

By no means, I want to imply that this is easy. It takes a lot of energy and creativity on top of trying to figure out what to put on the table after a long day at work. Here are a few ideas to have a perspective keep it under control:

Don’t give in and don’t give up – if it doesn’t work one day, move on and try on another day
It’s not about you – the food is going in your child’s body, not yours. You are only responsible for offering food, not getting your child to actually eat it
Don’t be pushy, don’t be a pushover – feeding a child is not power play. Respect their feelings but also don’t let them run you over with their demands
Practice BVM – balance, variety and moderation. Food is not good or bad, it’s how it is eaten that makes it a problem. Sweet treats and yummy snacks all have a proper place in your child’s diet
Feeding kids is teamwork – don’t do it alone, engage your spouse to balance your parenting style

There is a lot of talk about food these days. We read and hear about all kinds of new food labels -natural, organic, locally-grown, minimally-processed, wholesome and so on. People are becoming more aware of what they eat, and food marketers are working hard to make food packaging scream out such labels at them. It is perfectly fine to pay attention to these labels and the what of food; but the how of feeding is equally important.

Next time you find yourself in another eat your food or else battle with your child, stop and take a different approach.

©2010 Littlestomaks.com

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Four Seasons of Eating Locally — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has pointers for what fresh produce can be found year-round. (@MBJunction)
• Happy Families Can Have More Than One Diet — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has figured out a way for her family to live happily as vegans and vegetarians with relatives who eat meat. (@DebChitwood)
• My Own Omnivore’s Dilemma — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante prioritizes responsible consumer choices for her family.
• No Gluten — No Cry — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned to cook balanced meals when her son’s food sensitivities prompted a diet overhaul. (@kitchenwitch)
• Try, Try Again — Stefanie at very very fine has become an enthusiastic consumer of locally grown food.
• CSA — Week 1 — Casey at What Love Is wants her children to know where their food comes from, so she joined a friendly CSA. (@CBerbs)
• Food: Parenting or Homemaking? — Michelle at The Parent Vortex sees food as part of a parent’s nurturing role. (@TheParentVortex)
• 5 Tips to Help Kids Develop Healthy Eating Habits — If you struggle with healthy eating, helping your child develop healthy habits might be a challenge. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips that will help your kids learn to make good food choices. (@CodeNameMama)
• Family Food: Seeking Balance Between Healthy, Sustainable & Affordable — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings has a whole list of ideas for how she can improve her family’s eating, both now and into the future. (@sunfrog)
• Whole Foods in, Wholesome Feelings Out — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has turned her back on the processed, preservative-ridden food of her childhood. (@tisworthwhile)
• When to Splurge on Organic (and When It Is Okay to Skip It) — Becoming Mamas tell you what foods to prioritize when buying pricier organic food, and where you can find it cheaper. (@becomingmamas)
• A Locavore’s Family Meal — Acacia at Be Present Mama tells a story in pictures of her family taking a trip to the local organic farmers market and then preparing a summer meal together with their bounty.
• Eat Your Food, or Else — Why should we not bribe a child to eat? TwinToddlersDad from Littlestomaks (Science Driven Real Life Toddler Nutrition) explains. (@TwinToddlersDad)
• Food, Glorious Food! — Luschka at Diary of a First Child describes three easy ways her family has started eating healthier. (@diaryfirstchild)
• Celebrating Food — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes in food as medicine and thinks it’s worth paying more to keep healthy. (@myzerowaste)
• Oil and Yogurt — What have you been motivated to do with the current oil spill crisis? midnightfeedings has started making her own yogurt. (@midnightfeeding)
• Growth-Spurt Soup (AKA “Beannut Stew”) — BeanMa has a special stew to help her baby through growth spurts that keep her up all night. (@thebeanma)

• Why I Love The Real Food Community — Much like many people who follow AP/NP values, Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! takes the parts of the “real food” philosophy that work for her family and leaves the rest. (@bfmom)
• Feeding a Family of Six — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children gives helpful tips for feeding a family of six.
• Starting Solids at 6 Months — Did your doctor recommend that you give your baby cereal? Sheryl at Little Snowflakes discusses how whole foods are so much healthier (and more delicious) than traditional cereal. (@sheryljesin)
• Am I What I Eat? — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has figured out a way to avoid grocery stores nearly altogether.
• Are We Setting Our Kids Up To Fail? — Megan at Purple Dancing Dahlias found that cutting out the junk also transformed her sons’ behavior problems.
• Changing your family’s way of eating — Lauren at Hobo Mama has techniques you can try to move your family gradually toward a healthier diet. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Real Food — What kinds of fake foods do you eat? And why?! Lisa C. at My World Edenwild talks about why she chooses real food.
• A Snackaholic’s Food Battle — Julie at Simple Life wants to stop snacking and get into the old ways of cooking from scratch and raising her own food. (@homemakerjulie)
• Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm)
• How Do You Eat When You Are out of Town? — Cassie at There’s a Pickle In My Life wants some tips on how to eat healthy when you are out of town.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Food! — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker hopes that by serving her children healthy, balanced meals, they will become accustomed to making good food choices. (@sybilryan)
• There’s No Food Like Home’s — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing revels in the Bajan food of her upbringing. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
• This Mom’s Food Journey — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment made a journey from not paying attention to food to growing her own.
• Who Knew Eating Was So Hard? — The challenges involved in changing to healthier eating habits take on a whole new dimension when you have a child who has difficulties eating. kadiera at Our Little Acorn shares her own experiences. (@kadiera)
• Loving Food — Starr at Earth Mama truly believes food is her family’s medicine and is willing to spend days preparing it the traditional way.
• Food Mindfulness — Danielle at born.in.japan details how her family spends money on each category of food. (@borninjp)
• Food for Little People — Zoey at Good Goog wants to bless her daughter with happy traditions built around good food. (@zoeyspeak)
• Eat Like a Baby — Have you been told that you should not equate food with love? Kate Wicker at Momopoly shows us why that’s not necessarily true. (@Momopoly)
• Food — Deb at Science@Home tries to teach her children three rules to help them eat a healthy diet. (@ScienceMum)
• Healthy Eating Lactose-Free — MamanADroit gives us tips on how to eat healthy if you are lactose intolerant (or just don’t want cow milk). (@MamanADroit)

This giveaway is now closed. Comments #5 and #17 are the winners of this book.

Teaching good behavior and manners to toddlers is not easy! That is why I am so excited to introduce you to this delightful, and surprisingly effective, illustrated book by Leslie McGuirk and co-author Alex von Bidder!

The main character of this book is Wiggens, a chocolate Labrador puppy, who is such a handful for his parents that they don’t know what to do with him anymore! They do, however, manage to find a special and elegant place where puppies of all kinds can learn refinement and good manners. This special place turns out to be the Four Seasons Restaurant in New York city where Wiggens finally manage to learn 10 useful manners with the help of the Saint Bernard!

I loved the illustrations in this book. I am glad that Leslie chose a chocolate Labrador puppy for her story because my son loves anything brown! He was so attracted to the puppy that he sat down patiently with me as I read the story to him and his twin sister. We have been doing this for the last couple of days and I am pleased to report that they are now beginning to memorize the good manners from the book. I am amazed by the effect it has had on them and recommend it highly to all toddler parents!

Check out this video for why there is such a buzz about this book!

And now the good news!

The folks at Candlewick Press were kind enough to donate 3 copies of this book to me. This book is so good that I am keeping one copy for myself, but the other two are up for grabs!

Here is what you need to do to be a lucky winner:

4 simple ways to win (choose one or more if you like in a separate comment)

1. Leave a comment with an answer to this question: What is your most difficult restaurant manners problem with your toddler (2-5 years old)?
   
2. Leave a comment with an answer to the second question: Share a difficult dining out experience with your toddler where you had to manage a “bad manners” situation and how you handled it
   
3. Become a fan of the Littlestomaks Facebook page for tips and updates on toddler nutrition
4. Tell a friend to sign up for the Littlestomaks Facebook page. Look for the “Suggest to Friends” link under the Littlestomaks logo on the Facebook page

Note: to maximize your chances of winning, a separate comment for the above 4 ways to win is required

Full Disclosure (a.k.a. the fine print)

1. You must be a parent of at least one toddler 2-5 years old
2. Open to individuals only, no commercial outfits
3. I will select a winner by drawing a random number using random.org. This number will correspond to the number assigned to your comment on this post. So, if you want all your chances to be counted, leave a separate comment for each; not all in one comment
4. Make sure to leave a valid email address when you fill the comment box
5. If you win, you will need to send me your mailing address within 48 h of receiving notification or I will draw another winner
6. Allow up to 2 weeks to receive your book
7. This giveaway will end at midnight EST on Sunday April 25, 2010
   

Let’s play!

©2010 Littlestomaks.com

Ask The Expert is a weekly column on Littlestomaks.com. The idea is to have a reader-submitted question answered by a nutrition expert or a pediatrician. Feel free to submit your question in the comments section below.

This week, Dr. Dina Rose offers a few handy tips on what to do if your child has a snacking habit and if he wants to eat snacks even at regular mealtimes.

Question: My child wants to munch on snacks all the time. How can I manage it so he can still sit with us for dinner and eat a regular meal?

Answer:

Lots of kids want to snack all day long and with all the tempting stuff out there, can you really blame them? But snacking, as I’m sure you know, is a problem on many fronts. For starters, most snack foods are nutritiously inferior, so when snacking replaces regular meals, kids end up missing out on a lot of important nutrients. More importantly, though, kids who constantly snack develop a snacking habit and snacking, experts agree, is one of the main causes of obesity in America.

If you want to cut back on your child’s snacking you have to figure out why he prefers to eat in-between, rather than at, meals. Is he stuck in a cycle where he doesn’t eat enough at breakfast so he over-snacks before lunch, so he isn’t hungry for lunch and then over-snacks …? In this case, simply cut out (or cut back) the mid-morning snack. Lunch should improve, which will reduce your child’s need for an afternoon snack so dinner…

Alternatively, is your child reluctant to eat at mealtime because snacktime is on-the-go? Lots of kids go through a stage where they’d rather play than eat, particularly if they’re not that interested in food to begin with. If this is the root of your problem, try letting your child eat (at least some of) his meals while he’s playing. After all, it’s not a hard and fast rule that all meals must be eaten at the table. You also could start serving snacks at the table. That would reduce the time your on-the-go-eater spends eating them.

Finally, if your child prefers to hold out for snack time because that’s when the fun items are served — crackers, sweetened yogurt, cookies — change the kinds of foods available for snacking. After all, if your child was eating his daily allotment of fruits and veggies for snacktime, you would probably be less worried about mealtime.

Of course, no matter which path you pick, be prepared for a meltdown. Changing the game might be necessary but don’t expect your child to see it that way.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.

©2010 Littlestomaks.com. All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer – Information provided in Ask The Expert column on Littlestomaks.com is intended to give you general guidance on a question related to toddler nutrition. It is not meant to be treated as medical advice. You are welcome to contact this expert for a detailed consultation on your specific situation to determine what actions, if any, you should take regarding nutrition and health of your toddlers. We do not recommend you to take any action based solely on the information presented in this column. Experts have agreed to provide their professional opinion on toddler nutrition related questions on a voluntary basis and no compensation is offered to them by Littlestomaks.com.

I know – the title does not make any sense whatsoever! But hang on, because this post is less about nutrition and more about getting creative and having fun at the table!

One of my blogger friends Jenna of KidAppeal is hosting her Big Words from Little Foodies Recipe Swap. It is an interesting project because it takes the focus away from feeding and nutrition to engagement and interaction with the kids and having fun. That is why the weird title because I want to share with you a recent mealtime experience I had with our twins.

My son is crazy about trains! He lives and breathes diesel engines. Sometimes I get a sense that he imagines himself to be a diesel engine! That is why the only sure way of capturing his attention (and imagination) is to talk to him about trains. These days, I try to spin a story about adventures of a diesel engine at the dinner table so he can stay seated for at least 15-20 minutes and try the food on the table.

Now, did you know that there are many different kinds of diesel engines? There is Santa Fe, Canadian National, CSX, Burlington Northern, Amtrak and Southern Pacific? Well, don’t feel too bad if you had no idea because I had no clue either before he got so fascinated with diesel trains. (Strictly speaking, these are the railroad companies who own the diesel engines. But to my son, the name belongs to the diesel engine because that is what he looks at in his train books and magazines).

Recently we had our Green Bean with Olive Oil, basmati rice, meatballs and salad on the table for us at dinner. TwinToddlersMom also had a few other options for the twins – spaghetti, cut cucumber, baked fish sticks, feta cheese and strawberries just in case. Some of these items are their favorites so we try to keep them handy. Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not!

Anyway, here is how our conversation went -

Me – Do you want to hear the story when Canadian National diesel became very hungry and his engineer got him some diesel food?

Son – YES, tell me the story baba!

Me – Well, you need to come to the table so we can have our dinner and listen to the story

It worked, because he was in his chair in no time, eagerly waiting for the story as he scanned the different options on the table.

Me – Ok. Canadian National diesel engine was a very strong engine. He was red, orange and yellow…

Son – no baba, Canadian National engine is red and white!

Me – Yes, that’s right! Anyway, he worked hard pulling his freight trains from city to city from Canada to the United States…

Daughter – No baba, only Amtrak goes city to city, not a freight train! (she tries to jump in to get her share of attention!)

Me – Yes, that’s right! Anyway, he worked hard pulling his freight trains from the docks to the city. He carried all kinds of stuff. He had hopper cars, tank cars, flat cars, box cars, gondola cars and a caboose. But one day, he got very hungry and his tummy started grumbling…

Son - you mean he lost all of his diesel gas?

Daughter - and his diesel energy?

By now, they were nibbling on a couple of cucumbers, bits of feta cheese and a meatball…green beans stayed untouched!

Me - Yes, that’s right! So he asked his engineer for some diesel food so he could get his diesel energy back. Do you want to get your diesel energy back?

This was clearly a ploy to get them to try some of the green beans, but it didn’t work! And I of course did not push. If they wanted to, they could always eat a few of those sitting on their plate.

Anyway, this went on for a while, when suddenly, out of the blue, my son announced -

I NEED TO GO POOP!

I know, I know – it does not sound very appetizing on the table and even somewhat of an anticlimactic ending to a silly, but otherwise engaging story! But I am sure every toddler parent has heard this announcement on the table at least a few times. The only way to deal with it is to laugh it off!

So I guess, that’s it. Call it funny, silly, hilarious, insane, nonsense! The real challenge is not getting them to eat the food, but to get them to pay attention. Stories help, so give them a shot.

What is your favorite story? What has worked for you? Please share in your comments.

And of course, make sure you visit Jenna’s blog for stories from other parents.

Enjoy!

©2010 Littlestomaks.com

Here is a secret from the world of business marketing you can use to help your toddler build healthy eating habits. I heard about this from a colleague of mine recently. I was thinking about it over the weekend when it occurred to me that it could be applied to building healthy eating habits. In fact, you could consider it for most parenting situations.

Think of companies and brands that you are a fan of. What do they do well to keep you coming back to their products and services? Surely, a lot of companies have good products that meet your needs, but there are some in particular which you keep going back to over and over again.Not only that, you tell your friends about them and get them hooked too! How could it be that they have figured out a way to have you keep doing what they want you to do – that is keep buying their products, sometimes even without thinking!

The secret is CONSISTENCY!

Consistent quality and service builds trust and a natural desire in the customer to keep reaching out for the product. Miss on either quality or service a few times and you lose the customer for good in today’s competitive world. The top companies have figured it out how to do it consistently over and over again. Of course, it does not happen overnight and takes a lot of effort to build.

So how can it be applied to building healthy eating habits in toddlers?

Just like building a bedtime routine at the end of the day, consistency at mealtimes helps your toddler to latch on to foods and behaviors you want him to develop. Here are a few tips for you to try consistently:

1. Eat dinner as a family and only offer whatever you have prepared for yourself. No need for a special Kids Menu at home (via Sandi of @5and1).
2. Make the environment fun and stress-free. Play is the secret ingredient of success at mealtime!
3. Don’t wait until everyone, including your child, is starving to begin dinner. Timing is critical so a little planning will help tremendously.
4. By the same token, avoid forcing your child to sit down and have dinner with you if he just had a snack because of a change in schedule or something else.
5. Understand the division of responsibility in feeding to unleash the true power of family meals, according to Dr Kathleen Cuneo of Dinner Together. Your job is to put food on the plate; let your child decide whether and how much to eat.
6. Make only a few ground rules for both adults and children. Too many rules don’t work, plus they are very hard to enforce. Be a role model yourself and ask help from others in the family to stick to them at mealtime.
7. Avoid talking about food as good or bad. If it is on the table, it is good enough to eat even if the nutritional value is not so good. Nutritional value is best considered before the food reaches your table!
8. Keep everything same or nearly the same each day. No need to be spontaneous about the seating arrangements.
9. If the TV is usually on, let it be even if you are tempted to turn it off after reading in a book!
10. Stay flexible, everybody including your child can have a bad day!

Consistency takes practice and perseverance. But it can be extremely rewarding in the long run.

Moms, what your most useful tips for building healthy eating habits? Share in comments below.

Photo Source: PhotoExpress
©2009 Littlestomaks.com

Getting your toddler to sit down at the dinner table and eat with you as a family is a task of monumental proportions for most parents, us included! It is something we all want, yet we struggle each day; only to pick up the pieces of our valiant efforts and move on to the next! We even stop going out to restaurants because we hate the looks we get from others – some sympathetic, some politely unapproving while some others rudely hostile! We wish for the toddler years to magically fly by hoping that one day our energetic monkey will simply learn to sit quietly in his seat and finish his meal like a grown-up, well-behaved child.

In her guest post The Power of Family Meals – Tips for Feeding Toddlers, Dr. Kathleen Cuneo offered some tips for making mealtimes a pleasant experience unlike the daily battles most toddler parents are used to. We have been trying some of these ideas, sometimes with success. But there is nothing predictable about our 3-year olds when it comes to mealtime behavior. Recently, however we stumbled upon a trick that seems to have worked a few times. I want to share it with you in this post.

A couple of days back, we took our twins to the community pool, and on our way back stopped by to pick up some pizza we had ordered earlier. As soon as we came home, we got the twins in their high chairs on the dinner table and immediately offered them a slice of their favorite cheese pizza. We got our own plates out and started with our own veggie pizza. A few minutes passed by, and still no one jumped out of their chair! So far so good, I thought – give them a few more minutes then we will see!

Suddenly, without any plan or serious thinking, I started a “question” game with the twins:

And my favorite food is?

PIZZA, shouted out my daughter.

I looked at my son, and asked “And what is your favorite food?”

He stopped, looked at me for a moment, his mouth full of the bite of pizza he had just taken. Holding the half-eaten slice in his hand, he shouted COOKIES! – well no surprises there!!

This is fun, let us keep playing I told myself.

And …. your favorite animal is? I paused as I looked at my daughter.

SHEEP, she answered, obviously remembering her recent favorite stuffed animal.

TRAIN, reflected my son – in his mind, a train was an animal! But hey there is no point debating on this topic with an imaginative 3-year old, right?

And my favorite animal ….I paused….is FISH!

They both looked at me and laughed. By this time, one full slice of pizza had disappeared.

And …… what is your favorite drink?

MILK (daughter), and a few seconds later, Hmmmm….ICE CREAM! (son). (we give him homemade OJ ice cream cup)

And my favorite drink…another pause…is WATER!

By this time, both of them were fully engaged in this game as the whole family enjoyed pizza. Almost 15 minutes had passed and everyone was still in their chairs. Their plates had a second slice of pizza now.

We kept on – the questions and answers kept going in a pattern, first my daughter, then my son, then me and then their mom, who by now seemed to be thoroughly enjoying this spectacle with befuddled amusement.

And …. who is your favorite person?

MOM! cried my daughter. I was so disappointed, but then the sight of mom’s beaming face was a memorable moment!

Eventually, we all finished the pizza. Mom and I even enjoyed a glass of wine!

Looking back, having fun is probably the most important trick of all. Play is the secret ingredient for success at mealtime!

What is your favorite tip for fun at mealtime?

In case you are wondering, the photo of our twins in this post was taken at a Thai restaurant when we went out to celeberate our 10th anniversary this year. It is not often that we find them having so much fun, but when they do, it is nice to have a camera handy!

Enjoy!

©2009 Littlestomaks.com

This is a guest post by Dr. Kathleen Cuneo. She is the founder of Dinner Together, LLC, which provides education, consultation, and coaching to families with concerns about their children’s eating behaviors. Over the last 2 decades, Dr. Cuneo has helped parents and children of all ages including those with special needs. Follow her on Twitter @dinnertogether.

When I am asked by parents about what they can do to raise healthy eaters, my recommendations focus on the “how” of eating rather than the “what.”  Feeding children takes place in a relationship, most often a parent-child relationship.  Feeding is parenting.  It can be confusing and overwhelming at times, but it is so important.  What you do as a parent and how you approach your feeding relationship with your child can help set the stage for them to develop a healthy relationship with food and maintain a healthy weight, as well as to maintain a healthy relationship with you.

Mastering the “how” of feeding your children involves a number of factors, but one of the most important is getting in the habit of eating together with your children.  Research has shown family meals to be associated with better nutrition and academic success in children.  Frequent family meals have also been associated with lower risk for obesity, disordered eating, and substance abuse in children and adolescents.

Despite its importance, many parents struggle with getting the family together for meals regularly.  The reasons are numerous and varied.  Work schedules, children’s after school activities, and parents’ discomfort with eating and/or cooking are all potential obstacles to family meals.  Another potential obstacle, especially for families with younger children, is the child’s mealtime behavior.  Some children are picky eaters who can make mealtimes unpleasant, especially if their pickiness gets enacted by whining, complaining, or throwing food.  Some kids can’t sit still at the table and make it challenging for the rest of the family to enjoy a sit-down meal together.  Other children can disrupt the family meal with boisterous, overly-active, or other uncooperative behaviors.

I formed Dinner Together, LLC in any effort to help families find solutions to some of the obstacles they face in having successful family meals.  My experiences as a psychologist and as a parent to three children help me to help other parents.  Families with toddlers can face special challenges with feeding because this is both an exciting and frustrating time of learning and growth.  As your toddler is learning motor skills and trying to find their independence, you may find yourself feeding a very different child than the baby who sat patiently with an open and eager mouth waiting for you to spoon feed her.  Parents need to adjust their feeding expectations for this “new” little person developing before them.  A toddler will not likely be able to sit still and focus on eating (or anything else for that matter!) for more than ten minutes.  A toddler will likely reject many foods.  They may like something one day and reject it the next.  This is all normal and to be expected.

So what is a parent to do?  In a nutshell, my best advice is captured in three tips.

• First, have patience.  Raising a successful eater takes time.  There will be ups and downs along the way, but stick with it, don’t give up, and have faith.  Try not to get too discouraged with your toddler’s rejecting ways and don’t stop offering all those healthy foods you want him to eat.

• Second, relax about the nutritional content of individual meals.  Your child’s health is not determined by the nutritional value of a single meal.  Look at patterns in food intake over a period of time – more like a week’s work of meals

• Finally, understand the division of responsibility in feeding.   Familiarize yourself with Ellyn Satter’s classic work, stating that parents are responsible for the what, when, and where of feeding, while children are responsible for whether and how much.

For more information and ongoing tips, recipes, and strategies for cooking and feeding, sign up for my free e-newsletter at www.dinnertogether.com and follow my blog at www.dinnertogether.blogspot.com.  Currently, I am running a gift card giveaway and recipe contest which expires July 12, 2009.  Read more about it at my blog.

Photo Source – www.dinnertogether.com
©2009 Littlestomaks.com

This is a second post under the Carnival of Play being hosted by phdinparenting. Here are a few very simple ideas for you to try at mealtime with your little one. Feel free to share your favorite tips for trying new foods.

Indulge their imagination

Kids have a vivid imagination! Slices of grapes or kiwi can become the eyes of a cheese monster, an almond its nose and a moon-shaped piece of strawberry its smiley face. In her guest post Help Your Child with Autism Have Fun with Food on this blog, Melissa offered another fun idea of letting your child discover her inner Van Gogh by messing around with carrot, broccoli and finger paint! Food is not just for eating, as we adults tend to focus on in our hurried lifestyle. It can also allow a child to develop a connection with many other interesting things as he makes sense of the world around him. The good thing is that fruits and vegetables come in many different shapes, sizes and colors, so the possibilities of creating interesting patterns are almost limitless. Come to think of it – Edible Arrangements has done exactly that and created a very successful business. Hmmm, I wonder if they have anything for kids!

Getting messy is not so bad

I love to watch my daughter play with strands of cooked spaghetti and get the buttery sauce all over hands! It is her favorite and she can’t wait to play (and of course eat) whenever it is on our dinner menu. My son, on the other hand, enjoys eating fruit yogurt and pudding straight out of the containers with his fingers! It is no longer a problem for me to watch him make a big mess of his hands and clothes.

It is natural for kids to explore foods with their hands. This is how they get a feel for its texture, shape and eventually taste. Sure it is a nightmare to clean up after them, but it does get better as they acquire more skills with their hands and fingers. We have been using these oversized vinyl spill mats from One Step Ahead under their high chairs. They don’t get too sticky with spilled food and are very easy to clean. Also, getting them to wash their hands before eating is one habit you would want to develop very early on.

It’s ok to add Fruit Loops to the soup

Combination of different food items may seem “weird” to adults, but for a curious child it is all fair game. One of our recent favorite is adding fruit loops to lentil soup, which my daughter seem to enjoy a lot as she uses her spoon to fish them out one-by-one from her soup. Here are a few more:

Edamame beans and plain yogurt

Plain yogurt on macaroni ‘n cheese

Honey on macaroni ‘n cheese

Dip crackers in orange juice

Dip pieces of fried Tilapia in pudding

Drinking “shots” of orange juice from small yogurt containers

Although I am glad our twins do not try to eat the soup with their fingers, it is still weird to watch them sip from a straw!

Pretending to be a grown-up

Sometimes we like to enjoy a glass of wine with our meal. On one of those occasions my daughter insisted to try a glass herself! It surely took us a while to figure out how to satisfy her request, but then my wife came up with a brilliant idea to offer her a glass of no-sugar added cranberry juice. It looked just like our red wine and she enjoyed it sipping from her straw! Kids love to imitate the grown ups; use it to build healthy eating habits and mealtime behaviors. Too much fruit juice, even though no-sugar added, is not good of course! But it sure is a lot of fun watching them try all sorts of grown up acts in a childlike way!

Encourage them to invent games with food

It helps if kids can build a story around the food they are eating. Sometimes, they can come up with interesting stuff on their own. It was quite entertaining to recently watch them try to stir in milk inside their fruit yogurt container, mixing it over and over again with a spoon and singing “Bate Bate Chocolate!” Seems like they picked it up from a Dora episode and decided to make their own chocolate with milk and yogurt! We of course, joined the fun and encouraged them to continue playing as they finished it in no time!

Flexibility + patience + perseverance + fun = healthy eating habits

Just like the  secret ingredient of a great recipe, fun and play at mealtime works very well with kids as you encourage them to try a variety of new foods. We live very busy lives these days, and it is very tempting to try to get over with dinner quickly so you can wash them and tuck them into bed soon after. When we are constantly thinking of the next step, we end up getting frustrated as we try to force them to finish their food and move on. Unfortunately, kids don’t follow the clock like we do; they want to live in the moment and enjoy it at their own pace. As parents of these active toddlers, we have to be very patient, stay flexible and keep on trying new ideas to make them comfortable with these new foods. By living in the moment with them and having fun yourself, you can take the stress out from mealtime.

What are you favorite tips for fun at mealtime?

©2009 Littlestomaks.com

I am happy to announce that this young blog has reached a milestone! This is my 50th post!!

To celebrate this milestone, I decided to ask my Twitter followers to share their own toddler nutrition tips. I felt that this would be a good way to celebrate our collective wisdom. After all, nothing beats the real-world practical tips from parents who are living the daily challenge of feeding 2-5 year old toddlers!

Here you go then! Enjoy these tips and try them out if you like them. And yes, do not forget to follow these wonderful people on Twitter. Simply click the hyperlink to their Twitter ID below.

On Trying New Foods

• @portraitsbyeric – When introducing a new food, make sure to give it at least a 3 to 4 day testing period for reactions. Can be different types of reactions. Such as breaking out on arms and sneezing after eating certain foods as an example.
• @stylekid – Don’t wait to long to introduct new and or ethnic food choices! Let them explore new flavors from an early age!
• @MiltonStokes – No need to engage in food fights. Just keep introducing a new food. It may take 10 or more tries.
• @AndreaLifeCoach – Resist temptation to take the easy way when it comes to feeding toddlers. Have some favorites & mix in new tastes/new foods
• @nahiacreations – New foods, don’t give up on the 1st, 3rd, 10th try.
• @viralmarketmom – They go through a phase when they refuse eat – doctors say not to worry – does not hurt them – they’ll eat when ready.

On Fruits and Veggies

• @smallsteps5 – Always have fresh fruit readily available in an attractive bowl.  Eat healthy in front of your kids. Keep trying foods because it may take time before a toddler/child is familiar with it.
• @FoodieTot - Appeal to toddlers’ curiosity by exploring vegetables in varied colors — yellow beans, orange peppers, purple carrots.
• @momsatwork – Feed them in courses, with the healthful stuff (fruits/veggies) first — when they’re hungriest.
• @hendlind – I give her the veggies first, then the rest of the meal. Otherwise she throws them on the floor :)
• @littletechgirl – Hide veggies in stuff that they like: chunky veggy filled spaghetti, etc. :)
• @thefutureisred – Cook simple things with your child frozen yogurt pops, mashed potatoes/squash, fruit slushies in the blender
• @MommyMellie – Have fun with dip!  Yogurt is a great dip and helped my two try new foods, including raw veggies!
• @MagicDandelions – Add grated zucchini to boiling pasta during last minute of cooking. You can hardly taste it in spaghetti, alfredo, etc. yet is a simple, fast way to add extra serving of veggies to a meal. :)

On Snacks and Juices

• @rebeccasullivan – My 2 year old’s nutritionist said purple grape juice is vitamin-rich albeit dangerous if they spill!
• @phdinparenting – Snacks, snacks and more snacks! A lot of kids won’t eat much during a meal, but will graze over the course of the day.
• @sthrnfairytale – Grapes, cheese cubes and apple chunks on coffee stirrers are a great, fun and nutritious snack for little hands and mouths
• @SchoolLunch – Both my 2 year old and 5 year old love salt free rice cakes with ripe avocado smeared on them… It has become the usual snack between lunch and dinner around 3:30 PM.
• @laviyah – My nutritional suggestion would be smoothies! They are an awesome way for children to get whole food nutrition. The base for most of my smoothies is home made sesame seed milk. Sesame seeds have an incredibly high calcium content.
• @LaMamaNaturale – Snacks include organic-clementines r hot right now/any fruit really, hummus and veggies, Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies- :)
• @LaMamaNaturale – We’re not big on juice just yet- but if Mr. Tristar does get juice it’s organic and watered down about 1/4 juice- rest H2O
• @MamaHeartsBaby – DD loves plain yogurt & cottage cheese, sometimes we’ll add flax seed oil to up the nutrition factor. She loves it!

On Reducing Sugar

• @ReizaM – If you don’t start with sugar, there’s no need to reduce. We never started our kids with candy/sweets and no problems.
• @phdinparenting – Mix pureed fruit with plain yoghurt instead of buying prepared yoghurt
• @kristydegregory – I switched our yogurt/choc milk to organic brands using evaporated cane juice instead of sugar. I also switch from cookie treats to organic fruit/nutsmix with choc covered almonds w/evaporated cane juice in the choc.
• @thefutureisred – We use no sugar in our house. only raw honey, maple syrup and stevia.
• @journeywJackson – Lots of whole grain snacks and tons of fruit keep him interested and away from most unnatural sugars
• @Valerie4012 – Instead of candy I try to give my 3yo dried fruit. Still sweet but not nearly as bad for her.
• @JoyofDiabetes – We only give them a choice of 1 dessert after dinner…they choose. we allow it or not…usually just limit the quantity
• @thepassivedad – No sodas, but we do allow ice cream once a week for our 5 and 3 year old.

On Mealtime Behavior

• @VanillaPumpkin – Be in control of meal time, little reason for them to much differently than the rest of the family.
• @DrAyala – Don’t make a special kids’ meal:It’s impractical, unnecessary,& counterproductive. make 1 good meal you can enjoy together
• @peekababy – Buy a cheap, washable rug and put it under the high chair. Listen when they say they are ‘all done’ or plate will fly.
• @svtwinmom – Some might disagree in favor or real conversation, but I read thru piles of books during mealtimes. Kids eat & learn at the same time. Rotate thru chapter & pic books. My boys are 4. Some ex: anything Usborne or Barefoot Books & whatever is topical or of interest to my boys. Current faves are new books: Beware the Frog by William Bee (full of surprises) and One by Kathryn Otoshi. Rec by local children’s bookstore.
• @journeywJackson – We put small toys, blocks, cars, etc on top of high chair…helps most times
• @mommadefoods – Empower your child to make healthy choices about what to eat and how much. They will feel empowered, for example, if you offer them the option of healthy choice #1 or healthy choice #2, such as peas or carrots.
• @goodLifeEats – Son sees OT for feeding: she says parent’s job is what,where,&when to eat, toddlers job is how much.

On Supplements

• @DrAyala – supplement tip: For healthy children a healthy diet is the best source of vitamins and minerals. No supplements needed!
• @goodLifeEats – Son drinks pediasure instead of milk for vit & calorie supps. Also takes omega & calcium gummy vitamins (Great price @ Costco)
• While it is always recommended that your child should get all the necessary minerals and vitamins from a balanced diet which includes plenty of fruits and veggies, here are 5 reasons to consider a multivitamin supplement for your toddler
• If you are considering a multivitamin supplement for your child, here is a review of a few popular brands.

Miscellaneous Tips

• @portraitsbyeric – Use a rice milk or almond milk versus what is being marketed pasteurized cow’s milk. To get the veggies in early – make your own veggie drink or purchase a 100% veggie drink with no sugar such as Vfruit which has an Apple, Carrot and Pineapple Blend. To alleviate wheat challenges – use spelt pasta, spelt bread, etc. when purchasing juice for toddlers – make sure it is 100% juice. Read the labels. Dilute the juice with water also.
• @sthrnfairytale – Green food coloring mixed into eggs and then scrambled with eggs and ham while reading.. Green Eggs and Ham. A winner!
• @redwhiteandgrew – Not only are beans/rice a cheap and “perfect protein combo,” but the varieties provide endless options. Growing even small amts. of food fosters appreciation/desire for whole foods. Tots can try .
• @goodLifeEats – Get kids involved in cooking/groc. shopping, helps teach about healthy food choices & is fun activity. mine love it!
• @goodLifeEats – Most kiddos love pasta, buy whole wheat because it’s healthier.
• @portraitsbyeric – Check your local Health Food store and see if they offer Toddler Cooking classes. They instill healthy eating & nutrition. Usually 1x a month until summer. They also stress not overeating. Our twins attended for a yr and a half. Cooked great.

Do you have a nutrition tip you would like to share?

Photo source: clspeace on Flickr.com
©2009 Littlestomaks.com