This is a guest post by Annie, Mom of 2, and blogger who writes about the art and science of parenting at the PhD in Parenting blog.

When TwinToddlersDad asked me to write a guest post about attachment parenting and toddler nutrition, I wasn’t sure where to start. There are so many things I could write about. Rather than try to tackle them all, I’m going to give a brief overview of attachment parenting perspective on nutrition and then touch on one key issue in more detail.

Feeding with Love and Respect

Attachment Parenting International (API) has eight principles for attachment parenting. One of them is “Feed with Love and Respect”. At a basic level, this means that:

Feeding a child involves more than providing nutrients; it is an act of love. Whether providing for the very intense hunger needs of a newborn, or serving meals at the family dinner table, parents can use feeding time as an opportunity to strengthen their bonds with their children.

API’s information on feeding with love and respect touches on a number of issues, including:

• Breastfeeding and attachment
• “Bottle Nursing”
• Nurturing through feeding
• Introducing solids
• Nurturing a taste for nutritious food
• Gentle weaning

Dr. Sears, who coined the term “attachment parenting” has said that parents should not feel responsible for their toddlers’ every meal. They do not need to worry about what their children eat or how much they eat. He says that the parents’ job is to buy the right food, prepare it nutritionally, and serve it creatively. The rest is up to the child.

Extended breastfeeding and toddler nutrition

In attachment parenting circles, a lot of babies are breastfed into the toddler years and sometimes beyond. In fact, breastfeeding until the age of 3, 4 or beyond is more common than people think. Breastmilk continues to provide many nutritional and other benefits to nursing toddlers. The problem is that most nutritional guidelines for toddlers are written with an assumption that the child is weaned completely from the breast and formula by 12 months. However, nursing toddlers still get a lot of their nutritional requirements met by breastmilk.

According to FitKids (published by the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada), children between 1 and 3 years old require between 1000 and 1200 calories per day on average. Kellymom.com’s information on the average breastmilk intake for toddlers demonstrates that a good portion of those needs can be met with breastmilk:

Several studies have measured breastmilk intake for babies between 12 and 24 months and found typical amounts to be 14-19 oz per day (400-550 mL per day). Studies looking at breastmilk intake between 24 and 36 months have found typical amounts to be 10-12 oz per day (300-360 mL per day).

Since 1oz of breastmilk is equal to about 22 calories, on average 33% of a nursing 12 month to 24 month old’s nutritional requirements are coming from breastmilk and 22% of a 24 to 36 month old’s nutritional requirements are coming from breastmilk. As such, parents that do chose to nurse their children into toddlerhood don’t need to worry if their child is not eating as much food as other children their age.

Weaning, whether child-led or mother-led should be a gradual process, with solid food slowly replacing breastmilk as the main source of nutrition. According to kellymom.com’s excellent information on nutrition for nursing toddlers:

It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer. An example of a nice gradual increase in solids would be 25% solids at 12 months, 50% solids at 18 months, and 80% solids at 24 months.

Watch your toddler, not the plate. If your toddler is growing well and is in good spirits, don’t worry if he isn’t eating very much as he may still be getting most of what he needs from nursing.

Book recommendations

I hope this post has given you a taste of the attachment parenting approach to toddler nutrition. If you want to read more, if you are concerned that your child isn’t eating enough, or are looking for ideas to make mealtime more fun, then check out these books:

• The Baby Book (by William Sears M.D. and Martha Sears R.N.): Dr. Sears’ Baby Book is an excellent general information book for parenting in the first two years, containing parenting advice, developmental information, and medical information. It has a chapter specifically on “Feeding the Toddler” that has lots of suggestions for getting your toddler to eat and figuring out if your child is eating enough. It also touches on food allergies, choosing the right milk for your toddler, and avoiding pesticides.

• My Child Won’t Eat! (by Carols Gonzalez, M.D.):  Why  you shouldn’t worry too much about what your child is eating or what the growth charts say. This book looks at how eating problems start and how they can be avoided. It also includes many stories from mothers that have tried to get their children to eat and emphasizes Dr. Sears’ assertion that a parent’s only involvement should be providing healthful food choices (not forcing the child to eat).

• Mothering Your Nursing Toddler (by Norma Jane Bumgarner): This book provides great information about the normal course of breastfeeding a toddler, helping moms and dads know what to expect.

• Whining & Dining (by Emma Waverman & Eshun Mott): This is my preferred cook book for little eaters. It includes meals and snacks that the whole family will love and that are nutritious too.

How have you incorporated “feeding with love” into your relationship with your toddler? How do you ensure adequate nutrition while also respecting the fact that it is your child’s body?